Coffee Meetings Comic Strips - Page 5

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522 Results for Coffee Meetings

View 41 - 50 results for coffee meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Takes Decaf Vacations

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Wally Takes Decaf Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #vacation, #caffeine, #coffee

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Alice: I've never seen you take a vacation. Wally: I take mental vacations. All I do is switch to decaf. After a few hours, I can't remember what country I'm in. Alice: Sounds dumb. Is the any downside? Wally: The locals could be friendlier.

Robot Is Too Smart

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Robot Is Too Smart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2017's comic on:

Tags #robot, #automation, #power, #managers, #intelligence, #ai, #artificial intelligence

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Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.

A Wally Robot

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A Wally Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2017's comic on:

Tags #robot, #modernity, #technology, #automation, #coffee

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Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.

Winning The Meeting

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Winning The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2017's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #game, #cruelty, #insult, #criticism

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Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:

Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2017's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

Dilbert Tries To Get Funding

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Dilbert Tries To Get Funding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2017's comic on:

Tags #budget, #money, #spending, #projects, #upgrades, #technology, #software, #engineering

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Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

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Alice Tries To Be Interesting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2017's comic on:

Tags #nap, #sleep, #meetings, #boredom, #narcolepsy, #laziness, #health

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Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

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Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2017's comic on:

Tags #narcolepsy, #doctor's note, #excuse, #laziness, #nap, #sleep, #health

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2017's comic on:

Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.