Coffee Meetings Comic Strips - Page 5

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540 Results for Coffee Meetings

View 41 - 50 results for coffee meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #employees, #irritation, #language, #meetings, #sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

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Company Cheer

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Company Cheer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

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Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

No Internet

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No Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaining, #engineering, #office workers, #technology

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Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Everyone Does Their Job

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Everyone Does Their Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating

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Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

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Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #abuse, #Wally, #Dilbert, #coffee, #self-inflicted, #injuries, #interns

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Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.

Wally Has An Idea

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Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #work, #criteria, #criticism

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Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.

Gravy On Keyboard

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Gravy On Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #tina, #gravy, #keyboard, #coffee

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Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.

Shred The Copies

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Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #copies, #documents, #coffee, #shred

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The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself

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Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #talking, #coffee, #boring, #moment

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Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.