Coworker Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
239 Results for Coworker
View 41 - 50 results for coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 07,
2014
Tags business people, engineers, skunks, spray perfumr, marketing, engineer, resist killing, terrific job, business, engineering
Transcript
INTRODUCTIONS Coworker: My name is Alan, and my job in Marketing is to spray perfume on skunks. Dilbert: I'm Dilbert. My job as an engineer is to resist killing Alan. Coworker: You're doing a terrific job. Dilbert: Stop spraying me with perfume! Introductions
Tuesday March 25,
2014
Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants
Transcript
Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.
Monday March 24,
2014
Tags conversation, potato, worlds worst conversationalist, russet
Transcript
Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!
Thursday March 13,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), pride, a-b testing, traffic to site, most effective search terms, wingless skunk, junkyard sbnack, planned injury, topper
Transcript
Coworker: I did A-B testing and found the search terms that bring the most people to our site. The most effective search terms are "wingless skunk," "junkyard snack," and "planned injury." Topper: Well, duh! You could have just asked me. Topper
Sunday February 23,
2014
Tags ignorance (knowledge), thinking, objection to plan, potential problems, works fine, system used, non zero chance, get rid of hospitals, idiot, normal life
Transcript
Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.
Friday January 31,
2014
Tags incompetetnt, laziness, passive agressive, threatened me more, work ethic, realtionships, defensive, admits to incompetetnt
Transcript
Coworker: I can't tell if you're passive-aggressive or just incompetent. Wally: Which one sends a message that I could do good work if you threatened me more? Coworker: Passive-aggressive. Wally: Okay. I'm the other one.
Wednesday January 22,
2014
Tags answers, asked, dumb guy, formatted data, obvious in hindsight, questions, stare at me, office seeting, not enough questions
Transcript
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Thursday October 10,
2013
Tuesday September 03,
2013
Sunday September 01,
2013
Tags conversation, embarrassment, ignored, avoidance, avoid conversation, co worker, six months
Transcript
Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.

