Coworker Comic Strips - Page 5

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239 Results for Coworker

View 41 - 50 results for coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business people, engineers, skunks, spray perfumr, marketing, engineer, resist killing, terrific job, business, engineering

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INTRODUCTIONS Coworker: My name is Alan, and my job in Marketing is to spray perfume on skunks. Dilbert: I'm Dilbert. My job as an engineer is to resist killing Alan. Coworker: You're doing a terrific job. Dilbert: Stop spraying me with perfume! Introductions

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants

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Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, potato, worlds worst conversationalist, russet

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Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), pride, a-b testing, traffic to site, most effective search terms, wingless skunk, junkyard sbnack, planned injury, topper

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Coworker: I did A-B testing and found the search terms that bring the most people to our site. The most effective search terms are "wingless skunk," "junkyard snack," and "planned injury." Topper: Well, duh! You could have just asked me. Topper

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), thinking, objection to plan, potential problems, works fine, system used, non zero chance, get rid of hospitals, idiot, normal life

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Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incompetetnt, laziness, passive agressive, threatened me more, work ethic, realtionships, defensive, admits to incompetetnt

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Coworker: I can't tell if you're passive-aggressive or just incompetent. Wally: Which one sends a message that I could do good work if you threatened me more? Coworker: Passive-aggressive. Wally: Okay. I'm the other one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answers, asked, dumb guy, formatted data, obvious in hindsight, questions, stare at me, office seeting, not enough questions

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Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distress, introvert, draining energy, sick, work, medical

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Coworker: Are you okay? You don't look well. Dilbert: I'm an introvert. Being near you is draining the energy from my body. Coworker: I'm not sure how to take that. Dilbert: I can't feel my legs!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fear, surprise, underwear, interruption, sphicter, scared, shitless

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Coworker: Alice, do you have a... Alice: Gaaa!!! My day has been one interruption after another! Coworker: You made my sphincter eat my underpants! Alice: Yeah, I do that now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, embarrassment, ignored, avoidance, avoid conversation, co worker, six months

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Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.