Current Budget Comic Strips - Page 5

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353 Results for Current Budget

View 41 - 50 results for current budget comic strips. Discover the best "Current Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dashboard For The Boss

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Dashboard For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #ruse, #trick, #deception.

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Dilbert: It's called a dashboard. It shows the current status of all our projects. With a tool like this, you never need to ask us for status updates. Wally: How'd the fake dashboard gambit work out? Dilbert: Great! He hasn't talked to me in weeks.

Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide

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Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #irrational, #demands, #managers, #powerpoint, #nonsense

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Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

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Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

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Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

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Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #voting, #election, #Politics

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Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

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Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #fitbit, #hackers, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #spying, #surveillance, #technology, #relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy

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CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

The Generic Graph

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The Generic Graph - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #money, #cost, #saving, #chart, #graph, #penny pinching, #thrift, #frugality

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Boss: The sales estimate looks like this. Alice: That looks like a chart you showed us yesterday about our travel budget. Boss: The company is standardizing on this one chart.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

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New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.