Dating For A Year Comic Strips - Page 5

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505 Results for Dating For A Year

View 41 - 50 results for dating for a year comic strips. Discover the best "Dating For A Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dating A Skeleton

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Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sex, dating, relationships, questioning, desperation

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

Both Huge Liars

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Both Huge Liars - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, tinder, app, relationships, lying, deceit

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Dilbert: You don't look like your photos on the dating app. Woman: Your profile said you like to go to the gym. So I guess we're both huge liars. Dilbert: Maybe we can build on that.

You Heard A Rumor

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 You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultaion, insult, rumor, divulge source, dating pillow, co - workers

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Ceo Uses Dating App

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 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, app, technology, tinder, match, cheating, adultery, eskimo brothers, relationships

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CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, anger, frustration, trolling, needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Getting The Wrong Answer

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Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, spending, Advice, money

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Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Breaking Up With Robot

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Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, dating, programming, free will, emotions, cruelty, relationships, technology

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Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

Raising Cyborgs

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Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology

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Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.