Death Comic Strips - Page 5
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
234 Results for Death
View 41 - 50 results for death comic strips. Discover the best "Death " comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Wednesday August 05,
2015
Ted Died Last Week
Tuesday June 16,
2015
Click Rate On Death Alerts
Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction
Transcript
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Monday June 15,
2015
Tags business ethics, dying, death, health, health tracker, heart rate monitor, ads, scare, fitbit, smart watch, medical
Transcript
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
Saturday June 13,
2015
Health Sensor Predictes Death
Tags invention, success, technology, health monitor, fitbit, smart watch, heart, heart rate, death, medical
Transcript
Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!
Wednesday May 20,
2015
In The Long Run We Are All Dead
Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags death, strategy, work ethic, work, philosophy, perfect system, medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Saturday December 27,
2014
Blist Point For 3 D Goggles
Tags customer retention, death, immersive technology, moratlity, technology, virtual reality, immersive 3d head gear, starved, bliss point, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.
Friday December 26,
2014
3 D Immersive Goggles
Tags death, distraction, mortality, technology, virtual reality, 3d goggles, testing, good experince, forget to eat, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...
Thursday December 11,
2014
Wally Uses Misdirection
Tags anger, criticism, work ethic, misguided, whip to death, intestines, nap time, elaborate cruelty
Transcript
Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?

