Define Its Own Name Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

676 Results for Define Its Own Name

View 41 - 50 results for define its own name comic strips. Discover the best "Define Its Own Name" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Dilbert Characters

Narcissist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcissist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #ego, #jokes, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You're a narcissist. Dilbert: You would need an inflated sense of your own importance to believe you can read my mind to compare my opinion of myself to your opinion of my worth. Tina: Huh? Dilbert: Sometimes my jokes are just for me.

Copersons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.

Work Is Dehumanizing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Work Is Dehumanizing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #man, #workplace, #dehumanizing, #Environment, #dignity, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This workplace is dehumanizing! I can no longer work in this environment! I refuse to allow any more assaults on my dignity. I quit! The Boss: And your name is...?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #data, #Dilbert, #internet, #jerry, #tweet, #weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet! Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel? Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?

Introducing The New Hire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Grant Application

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Grant Application - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #job description, #responsibility, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.