Designing Future Products Comic Strips - Page 5

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269 Results for Designing Future Products

View 41 - 50 results for designing future products comic strips. Discover the best "Designing Future Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice

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Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, experience, stock market, lost savings, past perfromance, further returns, money

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Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

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Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, hallucinations, strategic planners, future, pretend, different happens, visualize, game, work, planning

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Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

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Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family

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Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assumption, business ethics, buy prodcuts, corporate strategy, corporation, customer centric, etiquette & ethics, evil, executives, ideas, marketing campaign, monopoly, needs, needs of customers, psychological manipulation

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CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avarice, business ethics, stock market, stock split, dumb stock holders, fantastic prodcuts, money

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CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, respect, prototype, economical, mental illness, level conscious

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CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, die younger, ignornat, comparison, peers, bright future, better than me

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Dilbert: What a great day! Alice: What's all this nonsense? Dilbert: I"m trying to be an optimist. Alice: Studies show that optimists die younger. So this optimism thing just makes you look ignorant. And because my happiness is based on a comparison to my peers, I don't want your future to be too bright. Stop thinking you're better than me in the future! Dilbert: This is exactly why I want to die younger. Alice: You already knew that optimists die young? Dilbert: Yup! How's your plan working?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, wearable tech prodcuts, looking cool, feeling cool, hit clubs, early adopter problem

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Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, time travel, date cyborgs, time travelrs, from future, less flattering guess, relationships

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Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business people, work ethic, new line, products, business plan, good track record, useful, accurate, make up numbers

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Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.