Dilbert Laughs Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for dilbert laughs comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Laughs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Dilbert Tells The Odds

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Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong

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dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Sarcasm Works Better

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Sarcasm Works Better  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #argument, #technology, #business, #production, #productivity, #sarcasm

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dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.

We Have No Strategy

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We Have No Strategy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom

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boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

False Modesty

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False Modesty  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #universities & colleges, #education, #harvard, #false, #modesty, #major, #face mask

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dilbert wearing face mask: what college did you go to? colleague wearing face mask: i'd rather not say. dilbert: the only people who answer that way are people who went to harvard. do they teach you false modesty? colleague: it was my major.

Reasonable Assumptions

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 Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #plan, #reasonable, #unreasonable, #assumptions, #job, #face mask, #sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

Empathy Sensor

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 Empathy Sensor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #empathy, #feelings, #office workers, #psychology, #sad, #sensor, #story, #face mask

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tina wearing face mask: you did not have sufficient empathy when i told you my sad story. dilbert wearing face mask: how could you possible measure my internal feelings of empathy? tina: i used my empathy sensor. dilbert: that's a stapler.

No Talk About Morale

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 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

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dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.