Ethics Expert Comic Strips - Page 5

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154 Results for Ethics Expert

View 41 - 50 results for ethics expert comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Expert" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #crimes, #mobile (cell) phones, #large screen smartphone, #stealing, #life of crime, #chosen lifestyle

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Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

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Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #obliviousness, #million units, #customers happy, #our goals, #their goals, #this quarter

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CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #efficiency experts, #gloves, #foot in glove

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Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #kill or cannibalize, #business

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CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #etiquette & ethics, #napkin, #hankerchief, #dinner manners, #crone teaches, #table manners

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Etiquette Training Crone: The napkin goes in your lap. HONK It's not a handkerchief. Dilbert: It sort of is. Alice: HONK

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things

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Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

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Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #coffee & tea, #managers & supervisors, #brain scan, #management potential, #warm brown liquid, #speed evolved, #coffee reservoir, #business

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Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #ethics course, #failed ethics, #engineer, #grasp, #fast track, #management, #corrupt, #business, #engineering

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Boss: You failed the online ethics course for the third time. You can't be an engineer for this company if you have no grasp of business ethics. You leave me no choice. I'm putting you on the management fast track. Wally: Huh.