Faster Than Competition Comic Strips - Page 5

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145 Results for Faster Than Competition

View 41 - 50 results for faster than competition comic strips. Discover the best "Faster Than Competition" comics from Dilbert.com.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #dating, #low standards, #Men, #market value, #single guy, #low bar, #tall, #employed, #height, #relationships

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Work Harder Than The Competition

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Work Harder Than The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder

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CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #engineers, #not fierce, #sex appeal, #sexiest, #welcome

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Tina: You have been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. At the risk of sounding unkind, the competition was not fierce. Dilbert: I'm one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Wally: Welcome to the club.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #competition (psychology), #bad ads, #increase sales, #competitors, #running ads, #increases ads, #strategic incompetence, #luck

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Coworker: Our ads are so bad that they increase sales for our competitors. Boss: Try running ads for our competitors and see if it increases our sales. Dilbert: Strategic incompetence? Boss: I didn't get this far by luck!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

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Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #project, #behind schedule, #dark fast, #death, #die, #medical

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Boss: Your project is behind schedule. Is there any to finish sooner? Alice: Well, in the long run, we all die, so you could die right now and get to your endpoint faster. Boss: You went dark fast. Alice: I had that one in the hopper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #embarrassed, #dress the same, #everyday, #reserve of willpower, #fashion decisions, #work, #wrote and app, #importance of routine

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Tina: Do you ever feel embarrassed that you dress the same way every day? Dilbert: No. Do you ever feel embarrassed that you don't understand the importance of routine in managing your limited reserve of willpower? Tina: I made 75 fashion decisions before breakfast. Dilbert: I wrote an app.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #rapid eveolution, #super intelligent, #godlike powers, #allergies

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Robot: I"m rapidly evolving into a super-intelligent being with godlike powers. Topper: That's nothing! Dilbert: My allergies are bad today. Topper: That's nothing!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #powerpoint, #technology, #competition, #industry, #one slide, #presentation, #meeting, #investors, #business

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Boss: I need you to make a PowerPoint deck for my meeting with investors. I'll be telling them everything I know about technology, competition, and the industry. Dilbert: So... just the one slide? Boss: Huh? Dilbert: How big do these fonts go?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #Men, #alpha dominence, #space, #room space, #topper, #puffer fish, #barely male, #glad, #inflate body

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Dilbert: Studies say I can increase my alpha dominance by using lots of space in the room. Topper: That's nothing. I can inflate my body like a puffer fish! Carol: At times like this, you must be glad you're barely male. Topper