Fewer People Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for fewer people comic strips. Discover the best "Fewer People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Appearing In Photos

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Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #technology, #social media, #friends, #Opinion, #abhor, #person, #characteristics, #jerk

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tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Blaming Climate Change

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Blaming Climate Change  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #support, #calls, #product, #flaw, #climate, #change, #Environment

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dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.

Mindless Tasks

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Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless

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dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Manufacturing In Elbonia

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Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #out source, #elbonia, #money, #government, #reputation

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boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?

The Best Way To Succeed

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The Best Way To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #success, #delegate

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boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard

We Already Have A Carl

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We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #interview, #skills, #confuse, #employee, #names

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boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

More Communication

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More Communication - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?