First And Third Wives Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

587 Results for First And Third Wives

View 41 - 50 results for first and third wives comic strips. Discover the best "First And Third Wives" comics from Dilbert.com.

Shred The Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #copies, #documents, #coffee, #shred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

Robot Learns Human Behavior

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns Human Behavior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #bug, #robot, #sexist, #racist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I built a robot that learns human behavior by observation. By the end of the first week it was a sexist, racist idiot. The Boss: Can you fix that bug? Dilbert: Some say climate change will get it done.

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twitter, #social media, #tweet, #communication, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I finally signed up for Twitter. Sending my first tweet. Uh-oh. What the??? It seems I have opened some sort of portal to Hell. Demons are streaming through the portal!!! I have never seen such horrible thoughts! Gaaaa!!! Dilbert: How was your first day on Twitter? Carol: I'm already addicted to it.

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

Wally Teaches Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.