Five Minute Meeting Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Five Minute Meeting

View 41 - 50 results for five minute meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Five Minute Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, blockchain, byte, code, consensus, bluff

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.

Boss Ear Piece

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ear Piece - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answers, blockchain, business, ear piece, evil, ignorance, managers & supervisors, smart, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.

Quarantine Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quarantine Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoid, business, clean, covid-19, hazmat suit, health & safety, quarantine, symptoms, wash, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.

Training Kicked In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Training Kicked In  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathroom, boring, business, face mask, meeting, sarcasm, technology, training, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.

When To Reply To Boss Text

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When To Reply To Boss Text  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, communication, performance, response, review, sarcasm, spreadsheet, technology, text

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, wrong, decision, career, assess, life, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Narcisism Makes You Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, narcissim, happy, unhappy, therapist, reason, face mask, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.

Social Media Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Social Media Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, medical, doctor, social media, poison, defensive, angry, self-control, weight, pounds, shaming, fat, over reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!

Wally Must Say Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business

View Transcript

Transcript

wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.

Meeting Ending Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, invent, app, application, ring, phone, meeting, strategic, direction, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.