Flashes Of Obvious Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

63 Results for Flashes Of Obvious

View 41 - 50 results for flashes of obvious comic strips. Discover the best "Flashes Of Obvious" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reviews, #movies, #havnet seen, #night of living squirrel, #movie reviews, #big pay, #studio, #Dogbert, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is typing at his computer. Dilbert stands next to him and asks, "How can you write reviews of movies you haven't seen?" Dogbert replies, "Easily." Dogbert reads Dilbert an excerpt from his review: "Throw away your Picasso paintings. 'Night of the Living Squirrel' is the only art you'll ever need." Dilbert, looking unimpressed, asks, "How much is the studio paying you?" Dogbert responds, "Dang... Too obvious."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power supply, #product overheats, #burst into flames, #level city, #military application, #costs, #ten million, #free hammer, #consulting job, #uninhabited, #atoll

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Dilbert enters and says, "The power supply in our product overheats." The Boss turns to an employee seated next to him and says, "I think they might burst into flames." The employee approaches a businesswoman and says, "I'm no engineer but obviously it could level a whole city." The businesswoman motions towards a diagram of an explosion that reads, "POW!!" She says to the seated military officer, "The military application is obvious." The military officer asks stoically, "How much do they cost?" The businesswoman answers furtively, "Does 10 million dollars sound like too much?" The military officer raises his fist in protest and exclaims, "For that kind of money I expect a free hammer! And a consulting job when I retire." Dilbert is sitting at his desk in front of his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "If an uninhabited atoll doesn't blow up tomorrow you're in big trouble."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects fail, #have in common, #points to boss, #honest, #sneezes, #figuring the problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Asok the Intern are all sitting around a table. The Boss says, "We've got to figure out why all our projects fail." The Boss looks at Alice and asks, "What do all our projects have in common?" Behind The Boss' back, Wally points with both hands at The Boss. The Boss says to Wally, "It might not be obvious." Behind The Boss' back, Alice points with both hands at The Boss. Looking at Alice, The Boss says, "But if we're honest with ourselves..." Behind The Boss' back, Wally holds up a piece of paper with a large arrow on it pointing at The Boss. The Boss says, "We can find the source of the problem." Alice says, "Ah-ah-ah-" as she begins to sneeze. Wally scratches his head with a piece of paper to the sounds of "scratch scratch." Alice sneezes, "Ach-itz-you!!" The Boss says, "Gesundheit." The Boss asks, "So, does anyone know what the problem is?" Alice looks on as Wally says to The Boss, "I've noticed that Dilbert doesn't work as hard as I think he should."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #obvious generalities, #fees, #recommending

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert sits at a table with the Boss. He passes a large binder to the Boss and says, "Here's my report full of obvious generalities." Dogbert continues, "My fee is $90,000." The Boss picks up the report and says, "What are you recommending?" Dogbert answers, "I recommend telling everyone it was free."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funny in purple, #important decsions, #missile defense networks, #naps, #french people, #touching with cigarette

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters the Boss' office and asks, "Is it okay if I take naps during the day?" Dilbert then asks, "Or would you prefer that I make important decisions while groggy and delusional?" Dilbert continues, "Either way is okay with me. It's your call." The Boss doesn't respond and Dilbert leaves his office thinking, "He looks funny all purple." Back at his desk and half asleep, Dilbert thinks to himself "Must...stay...awake. Make...important...decisions." Dilbert continues, "Must replace optical switches with dancing lemurs." The Boss stands behind Dilbert as he sleeps. Now in an obvious dream state, Dilbert yells in his sleep "Gaaa! French people are touching me with cigarettes!" The Boss leaves Dilbert's cubicle thinking, "I hope that's how engineers design missile defense networks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no click shopping, #patent, #whiners, #ship books

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds a clipboard and approaches Dilbert at his computer. Dogbert says, "My patent for no-click shopping was granted." Dogbert continues, "I'm sure some whiners will say it's an obvious idea." Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fake disability claim, #disabled, #hard to believe, #note from doctor, #obvious, #long time

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive carefully, #drive into a tree, #policy, #using cell phones, #poisonous snakes, #sarcasm, #joking, #obvious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"