Four Day Class Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

809 Results for Four Day Class

View 41 - 50 results for four day class comic strips. Discover the best "Four Day Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

Teaching Ai To Flirt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

View more books now

It Already Works

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

New Year's Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?

No Internet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaining, #engineering, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.