Gettung Givernment Back Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

713 Results for Gettung Givernment Back

View 41 - 50 results for gettung givernment back comic strips. Discover the best "Gettung Givernment Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

When Wally Is Busy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Wally Is Busy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #busy, #witnesses

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: are you busy? wally: yes. tina: when should i check back? wally: when i'm not busy. tina: when are you not busy? wally: whenever there are no witnesses.

Saving Babies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saving Babies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reputation, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #ergonomic ball chair

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.

Headphone Claims

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Links To Articles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Links To Articles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #internet, #Opinion, #research

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the internet debate coach Dogbert: Always back up your opinion with links to articles. Asok: What if the only links I can find are from non-credible sources? Dogbert: I'll do some research. But I think that's the only kind there is.