Hand Off Requirements Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

859 Results for Hand Off Requirements

View 41 - 50 results for hand off requirements comic strips. Discover the best "Hand Off Requirements" comics from Dilbert.com.

Zimbu Tests The App

Thank you for voting.
 Zimbu Tests The App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #addiction, #stimulus, #animal testing, #social media

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.

If We Are Off By One Percent

Thank you for voting.
If We Are Off By One Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #projection, #prediction, #finances, #big business, #guess, #estimate, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #time, #quick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Suboptimal Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Suboptimal Barry Dingle  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #open-door policy, #corporate culture, #pest

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.

App For Jumping Off The Roof

Thank you for voting.
App For Jumping Off The Roof  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #suicide, #murder, #legal issues, #reasonable doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Robot Attacks Boss

Thank you for voting.
Robot Attacks Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #machines, #computers, #fighting, #violence, #programming, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.

Days Off Versus More Pay

Thank you for voting.
Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

Elbonians Jumping Off Roof

Thank you for voting.
Elbonians Jumping Off Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jump, #height, #suicide, #struggle, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We have a problem at our Elbonian manufacturing plant. Employees are leaping from the roof to end their lives. Boss: It's only two stories high. Dilbert: That's the problem. It takes three jumps to do it right.