Hands To Boss Comic Strips - Page 5
1000 Results for Hands To Boss
View 41 - 50 results for hands to boss comic strips. Discover the best "Hands To Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 13, 2020's comic on:
catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.
Share July 11, 2020's comic on:
boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.
Share July 08, 2020's comic on:
boss and dilbert wearing face masks boss: put this on a pie chart instead of a line graph. dilbert: no, that's stupid. i'm not going to do that. boss: oh. okay. dilbert: why is this working? continued...
Share July 05, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.
Share June 29, 2020's comic on:
boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."
Share June 27, 2020's comic on:
alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."
Share June 26, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.
Share June 25, 2020's comic on:
boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.
Share June 22, 2020's comic on:
Share June 21, 2020's comic on:
Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.