Hate Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
264 Results for Hate
View 41 - 50 results for hate comic strips. Discover the best "Hate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 20,
2018
Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs
Tags flirting, implementation, new rules, shoulder rub, sock collar, team spirit
Transcript
CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.
Saturday December 23,
2017
Homeland Security Risk
Tags homeland security, awareness, consciousness, terrorism
Transcript
Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.
Monday November 06,
2017
Suboptimal Barry Dingle
Tags annoyance, open-door policy, corporate culture, pest
Transcript
Barry: Hi, I'm Barry Dingle. I hang around your office door and ask you questions every time you get off the phone. Boss: I hate that. Barry: You can blame your open-door policy for all of it. Boss: This is sub-optimal.
Monday September 18,
2017
Helping The Boss Be Successful
Tags helpfulness, niceness, kindness
Transcript
Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.
Sunday September 03,
2017
Tags customer service, loyalty program, survey, frustration
Transcript
Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.
Wednesday August 30,
2017
Blamecatcher
Friday June 30,
2017
Asok Uses An Algorithm
Tags office workers, cubicle, popularity, algorithm, decision
Transcript
Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.
Thursday June 29,
2017
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move
Tags office, office workers, cubicle, popularity, power
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.
Saturday June 03,
2017
Cubicles Like A Carton Of Eggs
Monday May 08,
2017
Robot Tries To Quit
Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting
Transcript
Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?


