Here You Go Comic Strips - Page 5

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611 Results for Here You Go

View 41 - 50 results for here you go comic strips. Discover the best "Here You Go" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Illusion Of Work

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The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2017's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception

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Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2017's comic on:

Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

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Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2016's comic on:

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

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Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2016's comic on:

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Hire A Famous Cartoonist

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Hire A Famous Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2016's comic on:

Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business

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Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...

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Don't Escalate

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Don't Escalate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2016's comic on:

Tags #managers, #laziness, #challenge, #help

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Dilbert: I need to escalate an issue to you. Boss: No. Get it away from me. I don't like issues. Especially the hard ones. Dilbert: Thank you for all the nothing. Boss: Shoo! Go!

Airport Security

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Airport Security - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2016's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #viral video

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Dilbert: My business trip didn't go well. I took off my belt for airport security and my pants fell off. Someone took a video and everyone is sharing it. Wally: This is literally the first time I wish I had friends.

Food Poisoning On Trip

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Food Poisoning On Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2016's comic on:

Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work

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Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

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Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2016's comic on:

Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

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Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Don't Harm The Artificial Soul

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Don't Harm The Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2016's comic on:

Tags #soul, #drone, #artificial intelligence, #frustration, #death, #medical

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Dilbert: Pay no attention to the drone. That's where I keep my artificial soul. It's still in beta, so please don't say anything that might harm it. Boss: Let's go around the room and give our project updates. Drone: Pow!