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Dilbert says, "We've had reports of 'meeting pirates,' taking over agendas and pillaging credit." Pirate says, "Yaaarg!!! I take yer document, and leave ye scurvy rats adrift!" Pirate says, "And then I invented server virtualization. Yaaarg!" The Boss says, "Wow! That was a good idea."
Asok says, "Soon my book of pointy-haired boss quotes will be published and I will be rich." Wally says, "It sounds great. I can't wait to get my pirated copy." Asok says, "Or you could buy it." Dilbert says, "I thought you said it was a book."
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're going into the internet news business." Dilbert says, "We're hiring reporters?" Dogbert says, "No, we'll summarize stories from other sites and provide links." Dilbert says, "So?we'll be parasites?" Dogbert says, "Go buy a vinyl record, Grandpa."
The Boss says, "Gabe was downsized when his last employer had financial troubles. I was lucky to hire him." Dilbert says, "Because they always downsize their best employees first?" Dilbert says, "Sorry. I didn't mean to put it in context."
Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"
Man says, "It's a conflict of interest for you to be our CEO and also a pirate who kidnaps our employees." Dogbert says, "The executive compensation committee approved this arrangement. It's all spelled out in my employment agreement." Man says, "So it is." Dogbert says, "Wait here while I call myself and ransom you back to the office."
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm taking a side job as a pirate." Dogbert says, "I'll kidnap employees and authorize huge ransom payments to myself for their return." The boss says, "Then you'll return them safely?" Dogbert says, "That's a different business model."
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of becoming a Somalian pirate." Dogbert says, "I'd still get to steal from stockholders, but my booty wouldn't be taxed." Dogbert says, "And who doesn't like grenade launchers? Ka-pow!" Dilbert says, "Mom? Cancel your cruise."
The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."
the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."