House Keeping Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

211 Results for House Keeping

View 41 - 50 results for house keeping comic strips. Discover the best "House Keeping" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flip house, #foreclosed, #mold, #red flags, #residential buildings, #squatters, #urine

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I bought a foreclosed house for $500. I plan to flip it for profit. Dilbert: Did the disclosures have any red flags? Boss: They claim there's a lot of mold and enexploded ordnance. But I don't see how either of those things could have survived the urine from the crack squatters.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #golf, #video games, #pebble beach, #xbox, #full spectrum, #lamp, #fresh air, #house, #windows, #played golf, #coffee, #Sports, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #tech support, #digital modem, #wiring, #problem, #plumbing, #supervisor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: This is Dogbert's tech support. How many I abuse you? Boss: I think my digital modem is broken. Dogbert: Please hold while I pretend to be testing it. Okay, it looks fine from here. The problem must be in your wiring. You'll have to rip out all of the wiring in your entire house to locate the problem. Boss: Are you sure? Because the lights on the modem aren't even on. Dogbert: That means you have moisture on your internal wiring. You'll also need to replace all of your plumbing and get a new roof. Boss: May I speak with your supervisor? Dogbert: Sure. But he sounds exactly like me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #conversation, #get mad, #point out dumb, #helpful, #doctor, #Dogbert, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #fraternization, #creepy new vendor, #did laundry, #creepy, #made sandwhiches

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new vendor is creepy. He's trying to form a relationship with me. Man: I went to your house and did your laundry. You're welcome. Wally: How creepy could it be? Man: I made us sandwiches. You're out of mayo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #shoulder holder, #jealousy is attractive, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.