Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Ignoring Certain People
View 41 - 50 results for ignoring certain people comic strips. Discover the best "Ignoring Certain People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 12,
2020
People Enjoy Context
Tags managers & supervisors, video conference, zoom, customer, self, human, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.
Thursday October 08,
2020
No Mask For Zoom Call
Tuesday October 06,
2020
Height Advantage
Tags company, employement, fired, height, hiring, managers & supervisors, pay cut, short, tall, video conferencing, zoom
Transcript
boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.
Sunday October 04,
2020
Golden Age For Wally
Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women
Transcript
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.
Saturday October 03,
2020
Proceed As If Nothing Happened
Tags accomplish, business, face mask, managers & supervisors, office workers, people, project, technology
Transcript
tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.
Tuesday September 29,
2020
Critics Not Intelligent
Tags intelligence, office workers, employees, smart, critics, agreement, face mask
Transcript
alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!
Tuesday September 15,
2020
Doubled Income
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask
Transcript
boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.
Wednesday September 09,
2020
Spreading Virus
Tags coronavirus, covid-19, business, health, spread, face mask, happiness, immune system, medical, Advice, doctor, manage
Transcript
dogbert: they say the best way to manage the coronavirus is to spread it to people you dislike. the happiness you get from that will boost your immune system. dilbert: maybe i'll get medical advice from an actual doctor. dogbert: they leave out the good stuff.
Friday August 21,
2020
5 G Gives You A Bird Head
Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g
Transcript
dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.
Wednesday July 29,
2020
Bad Judge Of Character
Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.