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View 41 - 50 results for improve them comic strips. Discover the best "Improve Them" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle walls, #improve communication, #worst ideas, #noblest reasons, #leashed and branded, #improve morale

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally are in a meeting. The boss reads from a piece of paper. The boss says, "Cubicle walls will be removed "in order to improve communication." Dilbert says, "Why do the worst ideas always have the noblest sounding reasons?" The Boss reads more from the report. The Boss says, "Employees will be leashed and branded "in order to improve morale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve communications, #two pennies, #give two cents worth, #cute, #avoid seeing boss, #pretend dead, #nickel

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The Boss enters Alice's cubicle and says, "In order to improve communications..." Alice says, "Please don't." The Boss says, "Every morning I'll give you two pennies." The Boss holds out the change and says, "Every afternoon, you return them and 'give me your two cents' worth.'" The Boss stares at Alice and says, "Get it? It's cute." Alice asks, "So I get to keep the money if I avoid seeing you?" The Boss stands and holds his hands together. Alice continues, "How much will you pay me to avoid your voice mail too?" Alice leans over the wall of the cubicle and calls after the Boss, "I'll pretend you're dead for a nickel." The Boss says, "I hate them all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bell, #improve moral, #achieve goal, #ring bell, #yell accomplishment, #bell works, #alice, #resisted killing boss

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The Boss points to a bell on the wall and says, "This bell will improve your morale." The Boss continues, "You ring the bell whenever you achieve a goal." The Boss turns and shouts, "Then yell your accomplishment to the rest of the office." The Boss turns to face the office and says, "I know it sounds corny, but the bell has worked in other offices." Dilbert asks, "Does your information come from the bosses of those companies?" The Boss responds, "No. It comes from a magazine that interviewed those bosses." Alice grabs the bell and says, "I'll go first." The bell sounds, "CLANG! CLANG!" Alice calls out to the office, "I resisted killing my boss with a stupid bell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #hr diretor, #improve perfromance, #feel bad, #faults, #boss lists faults, #hoping for improvement

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert stands on the top of a chair talking to the boss. Catbert says, "You can improve an employee's performance by making him feel bad about himself." The Boss says, "So, although that wouldn't work on me, it works fine on other people?" Catbert says, "Exactly." The boss stands behind Dilbert and reads from a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I'll read your faults one at a time. Tell me when your performance improves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #role model, #using deception, #time management, #wally is dead, #daily planning session, #ideal role model

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Asok looks into Wally's cubicle. Wally says into the phone, "Wally is dead. Sorry." Asok thinks, "My role model is using deception to improve his time management." Wally leans back in his chair and sleeps. Asok looks over the cubicle wall and says, "And now the daily planning session." Alice says to Asok, "Asok, I don't think you've picked an ideal role model." Asok leans back in his chair and says, "Asok is dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet community, #sarcastic suggestion, #email campaign, #improve image, #mass unsolicited, #tell people, #how nice we are

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair the fun commitee, #improve morale, #internet, #personal reasons, #technology

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The Boss stands behind Wally's desk and says, "Wally, two things . . ." The Boss says, "Number one, I want you to chair the 'fun committee' to improve employee morale." The Boss says, "Two, according to this report, you've been using the Internet for personal reasons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture of cycnicism, #cynicism, #happiness commitee, #improve morale, #negativism

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We must change our culture of cynicism and negativism." The Boss continues, "You two will be the 'Happiness Committee.' Come up with some ideas to improve morale." Dilbert and Wally sit at a desk together. Dilbert says, "So far we've got: 1) Raises, 2) Slap-The-Boss Day and 3) Nude Fridays." Wally says, "I feel my cynicism melting away already."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yelling, #boss, #diagree, #oor interpersonal skills, #class, #improve them, #snarky remarks, #Dilbert, #boss projects

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The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "Whenever we disagree, I always end up yelling." The Boss continues, "That's an indication that you have poor interpersonal skills. I'm sending you to a class to improve them." Dilbert says, "It looks like you've gained weight. Would it help if I started jogging?" The Boss replies, "This is exactly what I'm talking about."