Kill Comic Strips - Page 5
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188 Results for Kill
View 41 - 50 results for kill comic strips. Discover the best "Kill" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 30,
2015
The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid
Tags hiding, grid, off the grid, bored, bore, boredom, Entertainment
Transcript
Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags identity, hacker, hacking, government, manhunt, technology, money, ruse, trick, greed, betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
Friday June 26,
2015
Government Wants To Kill Dilbert
Tags cyber attack, technology, hacker, hacking, government, spying, surveillance, privacy, hiding, hiding out
Transcript
G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.
Thursday June 25,
2015
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack
Tags technology, hacker, hacking, cyber attack, government secret, advancement, app
Transcript
Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.
Wednesday March 11,
2015
How To Make Money While Adding No Value
Tags ceos, mentor, mentors, mentoring, protege, success, merit, qualification, luck money, wages, earning, earn, money, salary
Transcript
CEO Mentors Wally. CEO: How would you like me to mentor you, underling? Wally: Can you teach me how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company? CEO: I don't know how to teach you that. Wally: Was it all luck or did you have to kill people?
Friday January 30,
2015
Dogbert Disposes Bodies
Tags dolphin, exotic pets, hit man, murder, murder for hire, russian military, killed clown, dead bodies, disposal, expert
Transcript
CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.
Sunday November 09,
2014
Tags capitalism, cruelty, executives, industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, meat, announcements, artificial meat prodcut, automated robots, senior management, manufacturing employees, engineering
Transcript
CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?
Thursday August 28,
2014
Tags engineers, thinking, mental energy, executive attention, brain network, dangerous territory, surpasses last remnets, sociala awreness, misread social cues
Transcript
Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.
Saturday June 28,
2014
Tags wounds & injuries, work related injury, year off, with pay, drinking coffee, listening to podcast, personal, butt hurts, kill, murder, surfing internet
Transcript
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Tuesday March 25,
2014
Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants
Transcript
Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.


