Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Finding Qualified Engineers

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Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interview, questions, job market, engineers, baker, mortuary, assistant

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interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, conversation, excellent, hardware, network, price, record, reliability, warranty

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dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.

Vendor Not Performing

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Vendor Not Performing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract

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dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, business, strategy, products, sell, fair, price, new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Common Sense

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Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, common sense, request, specifications, assumption, sarcasm

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boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

User Complaints

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User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, support, business, staff, overwhelmed, bonus, product, launch, department, problem, cause, fair

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dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Sadist Designs Interface

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Sadist Designs Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, user, interfaces, job, unwanted, customers, sadist, stockholm

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boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, prototype, resources, software, program, miscommunication, frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Report Is On Cluttered Desk

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Report Is On Cluttered Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, project, desk, cluttered, email, lost

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wally: did you see my project update? boss: no wally: i left it on your cluttered desk. try excavating a few layers to find it. dilbert: what happens when he realizes it isn't there? wally: that's when i tell him to check his cluttered email.