Living Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for living comic strips. Discover the best "Living" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living

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Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #fired, #unflattering comments, #transferring new job, #living for weekend, #business

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Headline: Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert sits behind a desk and says, "Hello, head-count." The employee asks, "Am I fired?" Catbert responds, "No, no, no..." Catbert says, "I'd never fire you for making unflattering comments to the press about the company." The employee responds, "Really? Everyone said you're evil." Catbert responds, "Heh, heh, thank you." He pauses and then continues, "But all I'm doing is transferring you to a new job." The employee says, "Gee, that doesn't sound bad." He pauses and then asks, "What is it?" Catbert says, "Our new assembly line is seven inches too low. Your job is to fix it." The employee's head is clamped in a machine. A factory worker is using his legs as a lever with which to operate the machine. The employee thinks, "I'm living for the weekend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #elbonian, #ad reputation, #our image, #leprechauns, #mud, #export, #primary export, #vegetarian backlash

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Dogbert is meeting with an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "Elbonia has gotten a bad reputation. We need your help to rebuild our image." The Elbonian continues, "The problem began when we discovered a civilization of leprechauns living under our mud." The Elbonian continues, "Now they're our primary export. But we underestimated the vegetarian backlash."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

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Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #3 projects, #cucbicle, #double wide, #elevator, #scarbble, #night, #counterfeit vowles

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Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #padded cost estimates, #co workers, #cost etsimates, #inaccurate data, #half full glass

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #work from home, #know working, #wearing uncomfortable hat, #extremely uncomfortable

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The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally approaches and asks, "Is it okay if I work from home one day a week?" The Boss responds, "How would I know you were working?" Wally responds, "How do you know I'm working when I'm HERE?" The Boss responds, "When you're here, I know you're unhappy and that's the same thing as work." Wally responds, "What if I invent a hideously uncomfortable hat to wear when I'm working at home?" The Boss responds, "Well... that might be okay." The Boss continues, "But it has to be extremely uncomfortable or else it isn't work." Wally sits in his living room. He has a clamp tightened around his head and has turned blue. He thinks, "Hee Hee! The joke's on him - it isn't that uncomfortable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #reviews, #movies, #havnet seen, #night of living squirrel, #movie reviews, #big pay, #studio, #Dogbert, #Entertainment

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Dogbert is typing at his computer. Dilbert stands next to him and asks, "How can you write reviews of movies you haven't seen?" Dogbert replies, "Easily." Dogbert reads Dilbert an excerpt from his review: "Throw away your Picasso paintings. 'Night of the Living Squirrel' is the only art you'll ever need." Dilbert, looking unimpressed, asks, "How much is the studio paying you?" Dogbert responds, "Dang... Too obvious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #exit interview, #helpful data, #personal problems, #unethical weasel, #main reason for living

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Headline: The Exit Interview. The Boss sits at his desk facing an employee. He says, "What would you say is your main reason for leaving?" The employee responds lightly, "I can't stand working for an unethical weasel." Catbert is sitting at his desk, across from The Boss. The Boss says, "Yep, personal problems." Catbert responds, "I'm glad that we collect this helpful data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #temp, #sign time sheet, #permanent position, #dog, #has fake owner, #dilbert clone, #doll, #stand in, #fake person, #animals

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Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."