Lost Money Comic Strips - Page 5

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729 Results for Lost Money

View 41 - 50 results for lost money comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert The Sociopath

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Dogbert The Sociopath - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation

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Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.

Spending The Company's Money

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Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

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Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.

Fine Lines

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Fine Lines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #line, #optimism, #idiocy, #cynicism, #realism, #will, #love, #dead, #working

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Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #deceit, #contract, #cost, #money

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Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?

Wally Teaches Success

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Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

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Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Decentralization Changes Everything

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Decentralization Changes Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bitcoin, #ethereum project, #decentralization, #currency, #money, #economics, #blockchain, #obliviousness, #jargon, #lingo

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Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

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Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

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Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

Wifi In Slide Deck

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Wifi In Slide Deck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #credibility, #typo, #spelling, #assumption, #ignorance, #obliviousness

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CEO: I can't take you seriously because there's a typo in your slide deck. You've lost all credibility because of your sloppy presentation. And don't mention my wife in your slide deck. Dilbert: That's "wi-fi."

Customers Work For Free

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Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

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Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Arresting The Rich

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Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

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Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.