Managers Comic Strips - Page 5

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596 Results for Managers

View 41 - 50 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Best Idea

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Wally's Best Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, lack, accomplishments, best, idea, career, interruption, finish, sarcasm

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boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.

Worth Praising

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Worth Praising - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, human relations, positive, reinforcement, praise worthy, praise, leader, first

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wally: you never give me any positive reinforcement. boss: first you have to do something worth praising. wally: you can't call yourself a leader if you make me go first.

Internal Audit

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Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, audit, accounting, internal, shoo, great, job

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auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Boss Gets Vaccinated

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Boss Gets Vaccinated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, virus, covid-19, vaccine, vaccination, toxic, soup, deadly, neener

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boss: i got the covid-19 vaccination, so i'm feeling safe. i feel sorry for you unvaccinated people who are marinating in a toxic soup of deadly viruses. dilbert: thank you for your concern. boss: neener-neener.

Wally's Success

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Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, track, success, work, correlation, working, sarcasm, unproductive

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wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Blaming The Last Manager

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Blaming The Last Manager  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, wrong, fault, manager, inherited, problem, excellent, leadership

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boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.

Lazy People Are Efficient

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Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful

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wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Alice Needs A Snack

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Alice Needs A Snack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, managers & supervisors, meeting, break, hungry, snack

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alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly

Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person

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Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, business, disabled, token, gay, homosexual, celebrate, employment

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boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.