Meet Boss Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Meet Boss

View 41 - 50 results for meet boss comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Helps

Thank you for voting.
Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #deadline, #interruption, #business, #new, #task, #priority

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

Attending A Funeral

Thank you for voting.
Attending A Funeral - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #time off, #funeral, #sick, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.

Not Humanly Possible

Thank you for voting.
Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Workflow Training

Thank you for voting.
Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

The Best Way To Succeed

Thank you for voting.
The Best Way To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #success, #delegate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard

Wally Compared To A Placebo

Thank you for voting.
Wally Compared To A Placebo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #failure, #coincidence, #placebo, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.

Learning What Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #fail, #failure, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.

Imperfect Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Imperfect Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #vacation, #decision, #uninformed, #perfect, #good, #stupid, #smart, #enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?

Dark Matter And Lights

Thank you for voting.
Dark Matter And Lights - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #philosophy, #world, #dark, #matter, #light

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: did you know that 85% of the matter in the world is dark matter, and we don't even know what dark matter is? boss: i know what it is dilbert: you do? boss: it's when the lights are off. - duh. dilbert: i'm going to go talk to someone else now.