Merging With Evil Compnay Comic Strips - Page 5

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1000 Results for Merging With Evil Compnay

View 41 - 50 results for merging with evil compnay comic strips. Discover the best "Merging With Evil Compnay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Needs Alone Time

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Dilbert Needs Alone Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alone time, dark, despair, emotions, hate, lonely, mental health, offend, personal, time

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dilbert at home. dilbert: it's not personal, but sometimes i just need alone time. dogbert: how could i possibly be offended by your preference for the dark despair of loneliness over spending time with me? dilbert putting on headphones: i won't be lonely. dogbert: i hate you too!

Destroy The Competition

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Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech

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boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

Simulation Nonsense

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Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee

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tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Asok Isolates Too Well

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Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

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wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!

Elbonian Virus

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Elbonian Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, pandemic, elbonian, virus, kill, beards, fuzzy, hat, made

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dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.

Disagree With Experts

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Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention

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tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

Fraud Presenter

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Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won

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co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

Alice Needs A Snack

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Alice Needs A Snack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, managers & supervisors, meeting, break, hungry, snack

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alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

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Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology

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boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.

Customers Are Dead People

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Customers Are Dead People  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm

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dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.