Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 5

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514 Results for Named Ted

View 41 - 50 results for named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Self Reliant

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Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant

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boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Best Employees

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Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, best, office workers, industry, attitude

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boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Test Device Analogy

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Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office

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dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Jargon Poisoning

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Jargon Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, huddle, jargon, calendar

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ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity. dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning! ted: i'll send you a calendar invite. dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

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Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coffee, desk, office, office workers, cables, stapler

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the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Worthless Suggestions

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Worthless Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm

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ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, email, office workers, project manager, office, liar, photoshop

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office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.