Near Term Deliverables Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

102 Results for Near Term Deliverables

View 41 - 50 results for near term deliverables comic strips. Discover the best "Near Term Deliverables" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #amorphous cloud of gas, #once human, #avoid commitment, #molecules stop binding, #subtle odor, #copier room, #micromanage, #input

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock, and you said I need to finish my project by tomorrow morning." "And you get to have pizza with me." "I'm on a @#$% low carb diet!!!" "I nailed it." PIZZA

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We discovered that the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface. "Our country will be prosperous and happy forever unless we do something incredibly stupid." "Are you building any weapons of mass destruction?" "Why? Is that a problem?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to build my own country on the ocean using barges." "I shall rule with an iron paw, punishing citizens for no reason other than my own entertainment. Buwhaha!!!" "I'm hoping people will put up with it because their homes are near the ocean."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #flashy, #hot flashes, #suddenly hot, #burning, #cold, #cubicle near thermostat

View Transcript

Transcript

"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #eating at desk, #furry log, #stealing from company

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "Eating at your desk is like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice: "I'm working through my lunch hour, you furry log." Catbert: "Furry log?" Alice: "It's a term of endearment."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #writer, #tech term, #dongle, #emailing, #loser

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "GAAA!!! This writer misused the technical term "dongle." That idiot!" "I'm e-mailing this loser to tell him I plan to boycot the newspaper!" "DIE, LOSER, DIE!!!" "I'll come back later."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

View Transcript

Transcript

I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"