Network Remotely Comic Strips - Page 5
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Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.
Dilbert: The upgrade could make our network unstable. Boss: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Dilbert: I interpret your folksy response to mean I should upgrade the network despite the risks. Boss: No, I'm saying I'll break your eggs if the network goes down.
Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.
Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.
Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.
Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!
Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?