Never Appear Less Valuable Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

960 Results for Never Appear Less Valuable

View 41 - 50 results for never appear less valuable comic strips. Discover the best "Never Appear Less Valuable" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, report, factory, elbonia, problem, lost, power, main, floor, employees, scared, trip, dark, gas, line, accident, crater, capital, explosion, unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Wally Will Be Right Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, minute, desk, help, mystery

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Goggles Remove Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, goggles, human, scenery, alone, noise canceling, headphones, interaction, mega, dork

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Two Futures

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags psychology, future, brakes, cliff, die, instant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, money, die, ghost, password, bitcoin, clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Pragmatist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.

Self Actualization

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Before Or After Firing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Before Or After Firing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, prototype, request, fire

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?

Making World Better Place

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Donating To Politicians

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, Politics, government, campaign, bribe, faith, drones, guns, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.