Next Year Comic Strips - Page 5
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881 Results for Next Year
View 41 - 50 results for next year comic strips. Discover the best "Next Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Sunday October 13,
2019
Performance Versus Pay
Tags angry, big business, employees, irritation, managers & supervisors, money, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.
Saturday September 07,
2019
Centralizing The Decentralized
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, value
Transcript
Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.
Tuesday September 03,
2019
Wally Covers For Boss
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, motivation, vacations
Transcript
Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?
Sunday September 01,
2019
Boss Makes Document Suggestions
Tags boss, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, office workers, report, sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.
Monday August 12,
2019
Leadership Conference In Maui
Tags boss, irritation, managers & supervisors, vacations
Transcript
Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!
Tuesday June 11,
2019
Leadership And Guessing
Tags business, coffee, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.
Friday May 31,
2019
Go Hard Or Go Home
Tags boss, business, inspirational quote
Transcript
the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.
Thursday May 30,
2019
If You Can Dream
Sunday May 26,
2019
Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year
Transcript
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.