No Respect Comic Strips - Page 5

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63 Results for No Respect

View 41 - 50 results for no respect comic strips. Discover the best "No Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

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Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget cycle, #helipcopter, #double rotor, #respect, #budget process, #budget padding, #albino tiger cubs

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Caption "The budget cycle" Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Wally reads of a piece of paper and says, "And i'll need a helicopter, double rotor." Asok says, "If you have any resoect for me or the budget process, you will not ask for such obvious budget padding." Wally says, "And I'll need that chopper filled with Albino tiger cubs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hidden qaulities, #act humble, #deitful, #manipulative, #hypocritical braggart, #funny world

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Dilbert is jogging. He says, "I believe its what's inside a person that counts." Dogbert says, "How can you get respect for hidden qualities?" Dilbert says, "You have to act humble while generating as many clues as possible." Dogbert says, "So, you recommend being a deceitful, manipulative, hypocritical braggart." Dilbert says, "It's a funny world." They both sit on a large rock (boulder).

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #disturbing pattern, #soultions, #problems, #try last, #old rags, #due respect

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #talc club, #rise, #next level shale, #respect, #aluminum

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert shows Dogbert a ring and says, "As you can see from my ring, I'm a member of the 'Talc Club' at work." Dilbert continues, "With hard work and a bit of luck I will rise to the next level: shale." Dogbert says, "I can honestly say my respect for you has never been higher." Dilbert says, "Someday, God willing, I'll make it to aluminum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #quality assurance, #find flaws, #object intense, #hatred, #ridicule, #fix flaws, #respect, #special bond, #relationships

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Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ratbert the temo worker, #demand respect, #eye contact, #peripheral vision

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Ratbert shouts from inside his box, "I'm only a temp, but I demand respect!!" Ratbert continues, "Okay, maybe that's too much to ask. But I demand that somebody make eye contact with me!!" The Boss comes by. He looks at Ratbert and says, "How's this?" Ratbert, who has grabbed hold of the Boss's tie, shouts, "That's peripheral vision!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hire temp, #apply for job, #ratbert, #all of the respect, #unconditional love, #office and secretary

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert stands on the desk. Dilbert says, "We're planning to hire a temp at work. You should apply for the job, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Wow! Me? A temp?!" Ratbert continues, "As a temp I would finally get all of the respect and unconditional love that I deserve!!" Dilbert thinks, "Danger: sharp learning curve ahead." Ratbert says, "I assume I'll get an office and a secretary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #learned in workshop, #listen, #heart felt, #respect, #ham radio license, #going first

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Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like each of you to tell the team what you learned in my workshop." Alice says, "I learned to listen with my heart. I gained respect for others. I understand Sanskrit. I got my ham radio license. I can divide by zero . . ." As the Boss looks shocked, Alice thinks to herself, "I love going first."