Non Smoking Comic Strips - Page 5

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97 Results for Non Smoking

View 41 - 50 results for non smoking comic strips. Discover the best "Non Smoking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

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I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending

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Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cancelled vacations, #non refundable, #tickets, #tahiti, #exception, #look skeptical, #coffee, #break room

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wally: You cancelled all vacations but I have non-refundable plane tickets to tahiti. So I should be an exception to ...the ...um....you look skeptical. Dilbert: I dont think Tahiti would let you in. Wally: why does everyone say that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #approval for expenses, #sounds suspious, #heart transplant, #note from surgeon, #illiterate surgeon, #non credible guy

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The non-credible guy "Did you get approval for these expenses?" "What? Oh, yes, I did." "Why does everything you say sound suspicious?" "Because I just had a heart transplant." "I'd like to see a note from your surgeon." "He's illiterate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #non credible guy, #invented reality tv, #preposterous stories, #picture hostility & curiosity, #einstein, #entertain realtives, #new theory, #liar, #pathological liar, #lies

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The non-credible guy "And that's how I invented 'reality tv.'" "Why don't you keep telling me preposterous stories while I stare at you with a mixture of hostility and curiosity?" "And then Einstein asked me to entertain his relatives while he thought of a name for his new theory." "Good, good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lunch time, #barely came late, #work, #eat, #plaumbing, #read apaper, #non urgency, #moring at offcie, #slacker, #stale job

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"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #life insurance, #exclusions, #self inflicted wounds, #re existing illness, #criminal acts, #war, #quilting bees

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert hands him a pamphlet and says, "Would you like to buy some life insurance?" Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Exclusions: Self-inflicted wounds, pre-existing illness, criminal acts, war, dangerous sports, smoking..." Headline: Much later that day. Dilbert is still reading, "...And pistol duels resulting from quilting bees." Dogbert replies, "No one reads it, freak!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #eargarette, #smoking breaks, #downside, #cigarette for ear, #ear mint, #15 min break

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Dilbert is working with a device. He says to Dogbert, "I call my invention the 'Eargarette.'" Dilbert puts it behind his ear and says, "It's a cigarette for your ear!" Dilbert continues, "It allows non-smokers to take smoking breaks." Dogbert asks, "Is there any downside?" Dilbert responds, "What?" Dogbert says, "Never mind." Dilbert is in a meeting with The Boss and Wally. Dilbert says, "We've been working for fifteen minutes straight. I need an eargarette break." Dilbert and Wally are standing outside. Both have eargarettes in their ears. Dilbert asks, "What?" Wally replies, "What?" Dilbert asks again, "What?" Back in the meeting, Dilbert offers Wally, "Ear mint?" Wally replies, "Two, please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."