Office Efficency Comic Strips - Page 5
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829 Results for Office Efficency
View 41 - 50 results for office efficency comic strips. Discover the best "Office Efficency" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 10,
2019
Asok Moves Into A Pod
Tags #employment, #finances, #home, #money, #office workers, #salary, #apartment
Transcript
Asok: Thanks to my raise, I can afford to move out of my home in the men's restroom stall and into a pod. Dilbert: A pod? Asok: A pod! Dilbert: Is it better than the stall? Asok: It's smaller, but better appointed.
Friday August 09,
2019
Working From Home
Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #telecommute
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to work from home so I can be more productive. Boss: I can't manage you as easily when you're out of the office. Dilbert: That's why I'd be more productive. Boss: But you'd be missing out on all of this.
Thursday August 08,
2019
Poor Communication Skills
Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects
Transcript
Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.
Tuesday August 06,
2019
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby
Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence
Transcript
Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.
Monday August 05,
2019
Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby
Tags #excuses, #office workers, #trick, #work, #adoption, #morality
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to adopt a kid from Elbonia so I'll have better excuses for missing work. Dilbert: Your plan is immoral, uncaring, and socially irresponsible. Wally: And brilliant. Dilbert: No one is saying it won't work.
Saturday August 03,
2019
When Can You Meet
Tags #business, #meetings, #office workers
Transcript
dilbert: when can you meet tomorrow? alice: anytime. dilbert: how about 2 pm? alice: no, that doesn't work. dilbert: i guess we're going to do this the hard way.
Thursday August 01,
2019
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases
Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work
Transcript
dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.
Sunday July 21,
2019
Hallucinations At Meetings
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network
Transcript
in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.
Friday July 19,
2019
Homeless Employees
Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend
Transcript
Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.
Wednesday July 17,
2019
Asok Lives In The Office
Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations
Transcript
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.