Old Apple Computer Comic Strips - Page 5

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840 Results for Old Apple Computer

View 41 - 50 results for old apple computer comic strips. Discover the best "Old Apple Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

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Virus Gives Everyone A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

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Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Monday

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Monday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2017's comic on:

Tags #thought, #cognition, #technology, #invention, #computer, #intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Robot Is Not A Droid

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Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2017's comic on:

Tags #insult, #label, #robot, #android, #anger, #offense

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Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain

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Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2017's comic on:

Tags #intelligence, #technology, #nanotechnology, #biotechnology, #computer chip

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Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

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Erik Used To Work For The Cia

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Erik Used To Work For The Cia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2017's comic on:

Tags #surveillance, #cia, #technology, #spying, #privacy

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Boss: This is our new hire, Erik. He used to be a computer programmer for the CIA. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Erik: I know. I've been watching you through your devices for years. Dilbert: You what? Erik: Um... I mean, hi!

Alice And The Legacy System

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Alice And The Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2017's comic on:

Tags #dedication, #work ethic, #boredom, #overwork, #time

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Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.

Family Of Squirrels In A Tire

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Family Of Squirrels In A Tire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2017's comic on:

Tags #competition, #management, #managers, #obliviousness, #direction

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Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.

Robotic Hair Transplant

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Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2017's comic on:

Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

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Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.

Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff

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Boss Tweets Sexist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2017's comic on:

Tags #cell phone, #computer, #conversation, #desk, #tweets, #technology

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Our customers organized a boycott because of your racist tweet. I know. That's why I tweeted out some witty insults at the organizers. Your new tweets are sexist. Notice how the make you forget about my racist tweets?