Order Money To Kill Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

891 Results for Order Money To Kill

View 41 - 50 results for order money to kill comic strips. Discover the best "Order Money To Kill" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Moves Into A Pod

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Moves Into A Pod - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #finances, #home, #money, #office workers, #salary, #apartment

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Thanks to my raise, I can afford to move out of my home in the men's restroom stall and into a pod. Dilbert: A pod? Asok: A pod! Dilbert: Is it better than the stall? Asok: It's smaller, but better appointed.

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Co2 Scrubbers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubbers  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

Selling Chocolate For School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.