Performance Over Appearence Comic Strips - Page 5

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833 Results for Performance Over Appearence

View 41 - 50 results for performance over appearence comic strips. Discover the best "Performance Over Appearence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Can't Work From Home

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Can't Work From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #power, #work from home

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dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

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Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry

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dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.

Wally Has Skills

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Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills

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boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Mad Or Flirting

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Mad Or Flirting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #relationships, #feelings, #awkward, #psychology, #anger, #office workers

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dilbert: why are you mad at me? Carol: i'm not dilbert: oh. i'm not good at reading people's feelings carol: true dilbert: are you flirting with me now? carol getting up: i'm going to sit over here

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Hallucinations At Meetings

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Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

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in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #jobs, #math, #sarcasm, #review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

Jargon Poisoning

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Jargon Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #huddle, #jargon, #calendar

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ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity. dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning! ted: i'll send you a calendar invite. dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat

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alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.