Plan Work Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for plan work comic strips. Discover the best "Plan Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Worst Place To Work

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Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm

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boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

You Make Luck

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You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster

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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!

Alice Compliments Ted

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Alice Compliments Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster

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alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.

Tricking Employees

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Tricking Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, reward, business, performance, punish, good, bad, work, tricking, employment

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catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?

The Boss Has An Idea

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The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, managment, worldwide, obvious, implement, smart, people, remote, work, idea

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boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

Wally's Success

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Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, track, success, work, correlation, working, sarcasm, unproductive

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wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire

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Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, pandemic, billionaire, covert, plan, rule, planet, progress, sarcasm

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dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us. dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet. dilbert: why am i just hearing this? dogbert: because i'm good at it.

I'm A Loseer

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I'm A Loseer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, office workers, ridiculous, problem, loser, Win, Lose, feeling

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colleague: your idea is ridiculous and it will never work! oh, wait... i just realized the real problem here is that i'm a loser who doesn't want anyone else to win. dilbert: that's something you don't see often. colleague: okay, the feeling passed.

Every Expert Says

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Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview

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boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

Understanding Science

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Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, science, scientsts, chipmunk, sarcasm

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tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?