Promote District Manager Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

198 Results for Promote District Manager

View 41 - 50 results for promote district manager comic strips. Discover the best "Promote District Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #intern, #interns, #Promotion, #promotions, #no career path, #internship, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it my imagination or is there no career path here from intern to anything else? Catbert: If we promote you, we just have to find another intern. No one wins in that scenario. Asok: Actually, I would be the winner in that scenario. Catbert: I've never thought of it that way and I don't like it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #new strategy, #engineers, #middle manager, #glue, #binds, #vague objectives, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: What did our CEO have to say? Boss: He has a new strategy, but it seems vague. Carol: What will the engineers think about it? Boss: They don't care about this stuff. Carol: What exactly does a middle manager do? Boss: We're the glue that binds the apathy to the vague objectives.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #managers & supervisors, #shut out, #meetings, #unsolvable, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, I can't promote you because the other managers don't know you. Asok: That's because you shut me out of meetings and take credit for my work. Boss: That sounds unsolvable.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ephermal middel manager, #look stupid, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Say hello to the ephemeral middle manager. But hurry because he won't last long. Dilbert: Hi, I'm... Boss: Now you just look stupid.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #good manager, #leads by example, #managers & supervisors, #middle manager, #monster truck rallies, #suspicion, #teaching, #education, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A goo manager leads by example. How does it help an engineer to see an example of how to be a middle manager? Dilbert: That's like teaching physics by showing examples of monster truck rallies. Alice: Should we say dumb things, too, or have you not started leading by example yet? Wally: Now what is he doing/ Are we supposed to do that? Dilbert: I think he's leading by example now! Boss: I'm starting to wonder if everything I read on the Internet is wrong.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #managers & supervisors, #reorganizing, #overthinking, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chain of command, #district manager, #ceo, #braille toad, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #leader, #manager, #bad managers, #hinesty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.