Raisin Sized Heart Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for raisin sized heart comic strips. Discover the best "Raisin Sized Heart" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #stake through heart, #demon mossed boss, #raisin sized heart, #blue betty pen

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Dilbert and Wally stand against the wall on either side of the door to Ted's office. Dilbert says, "Alice is ready to drive a stake through the heart of our demon-possessed boss." Wally and Dilbert hide in the hallway. From inside the office, they hear, "Whack, whack, whack!" Ted and Alice walk out the office door. Ted has many pens stuck in his chest. He says, "It's times like these when I'm glad my heart is the size of a raisin!" Alice says to Wally, "I need all of your pens, including 'Blue Betty.'" Wally's mouth hangs open in shock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new boss is posessed, #evil force, #one solution, #drive stake, #heart, #be cruel, #borrow pen, #wimpy retractable

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Dilbert and Alice approach Dogbert who is sitting on a desk. Dilbert says, "My new boss is possessed by an evil force. We need your advice, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "There is only one solution. You must drive a stake through his heart." Dilbert says, "There's no way we could be so cruel!!" Alice holds up a pen and says, "Can I borrow your pen? All I have is this wimpy retractable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept., #best engineers, #leverage technology, #ant farms, #speadsheets, #ant milk, #ant fram engineer, #ordered dilbert, #milk from ant, #no risk, #bite sized ant jerky

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Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Here's how your marketing department can help retain your best engineers." The caption says, "Marketing gets an idea." A man points to a diagram and says, "We'll leverage our technology by building ant farms." The caption says, "Spreadsheets make the idea look profitable." The Boss and the man sit at a conference table. The man says, "The ant milk alone will be a positive NPV!" The Boss replies, "Wow!" He thinks, "What's an NPV?" The caption says, "Don't forget the 'worst case scenario.'" The man says, "Worst case, somebody builds a gigantic magnifying glass next door." The man contines, "Solution: bite-sized ant jerky!" The Boss says, "There's no risk!" The caption says, "An engineer will be assigned to the project." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Ant farms! Do it!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "The engineer will challenge the assumptions." Dilbert says, "You can't get a gallon of milk from an ant!" The Boss asks, "What do YOU know about marketing?" The caption says, "Result: the engineer will never leave the company." An interviewer asks Dilbert, "So . . . Your current job is 'Ant Farm Engineer'?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm doomed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #learned in workshop, #listen, #heart felt, #respect, #ham radio license, #going first

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Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like each of you to tell the team what you learned in my workshop." Alice says, "I learned to listen with my heart. I gained respect for others. I understand Sanskrit. I got my ham radio license. I can divide by zero . . ." As the Boss looks shocked, Alice thinks to herself, "I love going first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stay engineer, #career in mangement, #engineer, #dark side, #found probelm, #engineering

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Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #eliminated budget, #getting dumber, #brain shrivel, #hair different

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Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #reincarnation fund, #rich already, #customer, #needs help, #van

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Dogbert: Invest you money in my reincarnation fund and you'll be rich in a future life. Man: But I a rich in this life, for I have love in my heart and music in my soul. So, can you help me push my van home? Dogbert: It looks like you'll also have sharp pain in your muscles.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #Dogbert, #heart, #basket, #absense, #subtle, #computer, #garbage can, #chair

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "Dogbert says that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'" Ratbert says as he climbs into the trash, "I'm going to hide in your waste basket until my absence makes you fond of me." Dilbert leaves the room. Ratbert says from inside the waste basket, "It's a subtle change at first . . . Take your time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #robot, #heart, #attacks, #eating, #cows, #california, #drought, #fault, #water, #subsidies, #global warming, #earth, #organized

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Dogbert and a robot sit outdoors. The robot says, "I worry . . . Is it my fault that people get heart attacks?" Dogbert replies, "No . . . That's from eating too many cows." The robot asks, "Is the California drought my fault?" Dogbert answers, "No . . . That's from water subsidies to cows." The robot asks, "Global warming?" Dogbert replies, "Cows again." The robot asks, "Cows are destroying the earth?" Dogbert says, "They're better organized than you'd think."

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Share January 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rex, #good, #bad, #evil, #force, #dinosaurs, #animal behavior

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Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.