Rat Checked Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for rat checked comic strips. Discover the best "Rat Checked" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #congressional hearings, #airline, #inhumane service, #ratbert

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Headline: Congressional Hearings. A grim panel sits in front of microphones. One man says, "Your airline is accused of providing inhumane service. How do you respond?" Dogbert replies, "Sometimes I wag and sometimes I hold up my paw and say, 'Bah!'" Ratbert adds, "Bah!" Dogbert turns to the rat and says, "You're not allowed to say Bah. Take it back." Ratbert says quietly, "Hab."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #mud delivery business, #stockholders, #huge profits, #illeagal, #no law, #against optimism

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you're going to Elbonia to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." The Boss continues, "Meanwhile, I'll tell our stockholders that we expect the mud delivery business to make huge profits." Dilbert says, "Um... is this illegal?" The Boss replies, "There's no law against optimism! I checked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new hircut, #gargantuan, #mistake, #frighten children, #froze up, #Opinion

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Dilbert asks the rat and Dogbert, "What do you guys think about my new haircut?" Dogbert says, "It's a gargantuan mistake that will ruin your life, frighten children, and bruise fruit." Dogbert turns to the rat. The rat exclaims, "I'm all froze up! No one ever asked for my opinion before!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #can't sleep, #tell story, #pointy haired monster, #cry, #dilbert bedtime story, #tells life story, #rat crys

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Dilbert is sitting on his couch in his bathrobe. His pet rat approaches on the arm rest and says, "I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story." The rat is cuddled under a blanket on the couch. Dilbert begins his story: "Once upon a time there was a pointy-haired monster." He continues, "He promised riches to the villagers if they could achieve his random objectives." The rat begins to get drowsy. Dilbert continues his story: "The villagers worked long hours but they were happy and optimistic." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly the evil monster cut their funding and hired the village idiot to be project manager." Dilbert continues, "And that is how the villagers got trapped in meetings for all eternity. The end." The rat opens its eyes wide in horror. The rat cries, "Waaa!! Waaa!! Waaa!!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Rats cry when they hear about my life." Dogbert responds, "It never pays to listen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok alive, #cpr, #angles, #ratbert, #rat is blue, #lifesavers

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Sitting up on the floor, Asok rubs his head and says to The Boss, Dilbert and Wally, "I'm alive!" Asok asks Dilbert, The Boss, Wally and Alice, "Which one of you angels administered the life-saving CPR?" Ratbert says to The Boss, Asok and Alice, "Speaking of 'Lifesavers,' I could sure use one right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blank copies, #copied wrong sides, #intern, #new temp, #talk to hand, #tells off

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Asok: These copies you made for me are blank. New Temp: Thats because all the originals were blank. Asok: Maybe you could have checked the other sides, New temp: Talk to the hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most experiences, #die, #do nothing, #experience nothing, #immortality, #over rated, #rat, #coffee can

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Ratbert says, to Bob the dinosaur, "Bob, have you ever noticed that the people with the most experience are the ones who die?" Bob says, "No." Ratbert says, "My plan is to spend the rest of my life in an old coffee can, experiencing nothing. Hence, immortality." Dilber says, to Ratber who sits in a coffee can, "How was your first week of immortality?" Ratbert says, "So far, it's overrated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #rat, #says whats on mind, #silent, #quiet, #nothing, #eye opener, #surprised himself

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Dilbert gets dressed. Ratbert stands on the edge of the bed. Ratbert says, "I've decided to be one of those guys who says whatever is on his mind." Ratbert stands silent. Dilbert is fully dressed, holding his briefcase. Ratbert sits on the edge of the bed. Dilbert says, "Still nothing?" Ratbert says, "Boy, this is a real eye-opener."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting job, #wealthy, #cuter, #spreading disease, #dilbert and rat

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Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk. Ratbert says, "Thanks to my consulting job, I'm wealthier than you." Dilbert looks mad. Ratbert says, "And I'm cuter, obviously. The only thing left is personality." Dilbert says, "Shouldn't you be spreading disease somewhere?" Ratbert says, "Three for three! Yes!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat, #answers phone, #consulting compnay, #good pay, #investment banking, #phone call

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Ratbert walks by the phone as it rings. Ratbert answers the phone. Ratbert says, "Hello, I'm a rat." The voice on the other end of the phone says, "This is a consulting company. We'll pay you $200,000 per year to work for us." Ratbert says, "I'm more interested in investment banking." The voice says, "#*@ Job market."