Read Comic Strips - Page 5
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214 Results for Read
View 41 - 50 results for read comic strips. Discover the best "Read" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 09,
2014
Tags friendship, managers & supervisors, netwrok, career, weird and creepy, send email, best friend, relationships, business
Transcript
Asok: Would you mind if I network with you to help my career? Boss: I would have said yes, but you made it feel all weird and creepy. Perhaps you could send me email that I won't read. Asok: That makes you my best friend!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday August 07,
2014
Tags boredom, non-fiction, ghostwrite, leadership advice, sounds boring, read, secretary, request
Transcript
Boss: Tina, I want you to ghostwrite a book of my leadership advice. Tina: Do you plan to read it? Boss: NO, it sounds boring.
Wednesday June 11,
2014
Tags clean mold, refrogerator, undelings, winning, testoterone, priority
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that winning at anything boosts your testosterone. Boss: I need one of you underlings to clean the mold out of the office fridge. That's your top priority today. Wally: What's this "winning" I keep hearing about?
Wednesday May 21,
2014
Tags article about leadrship, blog post, get paid, supportive, lifes mysteries
Transcript
Alice: Did you read the article I forwarded about the ten things every leader should be doing? I defended your honor by writing a blog post saying you don't do any of those things and you still get paid. Boss: Why doesn't this feel supportive? Alice: That's one of life's little mysteries.
Wednesday April 23,
2014
Tags conversation, deception, insincere compliments, make likable, didn't spill, no change
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.
Sunday October 13,
2013
Tags executives, flattery, happiness, underlings, achievemnets, warrants praise, under budget, head pat, boss, enjoys head pat, psychology
Transcript
CEO: I read an article that says leaders should acknowledge the achievements of their underlings. Have you done anything lately that warrants some praise? Boss: Well... I'm under budget because I forgot to staff one of our projects. CEO: Okay, I can work with that. Now I think I'm supposed to pat you on the head or something. Let's try that and see how we feel. Stop leaning in. Boss: Feels... so... good.
Sunday June 02,
2013
Tags engineer, good manager, leads by example, managers & supervisors, middle manager, monster truck rallies, suspicion, teaching, education, business, engineering
Transcript
Boss: A goo manager leads by example. How does it help an engineer to see an example of how to be a middle manager? Dilbert: That's like teaching physics by showing examples of monster truck rallies. Alice: Should we say dumb things, too, or have you not started leading by example yet? Wally: Now what is he doing/ Are we supposed to do that? Dilbert: I think he's leading by example now! Boss: I'm starting to wonder if everything I read on the Internet is wrong.
Wednesday May 15,
2013
Tags how-to, best selliners, leadership, sociopathic tendencies, personality disorders, read books, coffee, metting, office
Transcript
Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.
Tuesday May 14,
2013
Tags executives, how-to, book on leadership, steve jobs, warren buffet, gandhi, ryan seacrest, carbon based life forms
Transcript
CEO: I'm reading a book about what it takes to be a great leader. Do you know what Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, and Ryan Seacrest have in common? Dilbert: None of them read this book. CEO: And they are carbon-based life-forms.
Friday April 26,
2013
Tags rich people, thinking, fool proof, plan for success, think about shoes, easy tasks
Transcript
Asok: I have a fool-proof plan for success. I will read a book on how rich people think. Then I will start thinking this way. Book: Rich people think about their shoes a log. Asok: I can do that!

