Read Reaction Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

236 Results for Read Reaction

View 41 - 50 results for read reaction comic strips. Discover the best "Read Reaction" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme court, #partisan politics, #engineers, #morals, #legislation, #conservatism, #liberal, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.

Dilbert Chooses Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Chooses Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.

Dilbert Eats A Berry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Eats A Berry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #google, #internet, #off the grid, #question, #query, #allergy, #berry, #reaction, #swelling, #anaphylaxis, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #feelings, #nonverbal communication, #robots, #novelty, #read faces, #admiration, #arousal, #bacon, #differnces, #human vs. robot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #insult, #insults, #lists, #managers, #obliviousness, #five signs, #bad boss, #forwarded link, #70 people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you see the article on the Internet about the five signs you might be a bad boss? Boss: Yeah. About seventy people forwarded it to me. Dilbert: That was number three on the list. Boss: I didn't read it. Dilbert: That was number one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #managers & supervisors, #netwrok, #career, #weird and creepy, #send email, #best friend, #relationships, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Would you mind if I network with you to help my career? Boss: I would have said yes, but you made it feel all weird and creepy. Perhaps you could send me email that I won't read. Asok: That makes you my best friend!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #non-fiction, #ghostwrite, #leadership advice, #sounds boring, #read, #secretary, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I want you to ghostwrite a book of my leadership advice. Tina: Do you plan to read it? Boss: NO, it sounds boring.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clean mold, #refrogerator, #undelings, #winning, #testoterone, #priority

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read that winning at anything boosts your testosterone. Boss: I need one of you underlings to clean the mold out of the office fridge. That's your top priority today. Wally: What's this "winning" I keep hearing about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #article about leadrship, #blog post, #get paid, #supportive, #lifes mysteries

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you read the article I forwarded about the ten things every leader should be doing? I defended your honor by writing a blog post saying you don't do any of those things and you still get paid. Boss: Why doesn't this feel supportive? Alice: That's one of life's little mysteries.