Realize Accuracy Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for realize accuracy comic strips. Discover the best "Realize Accuracy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Today I had a choice of doing something important that no one would ever realize... "...Or doing something useless that would look like an accomplishment." "So I attended meetings until I could no longer appreciate the difference." "Keep up the good work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Did you ever come to work on Monday and realize that you forgot how to do your job? "Only a total moron would forget over the weekend how to do his job." "O-o-okay. I'm starting to remember who you two are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spreadsheet for accuracy, #impenetrable jumble, #poorly organized, #cryptic labels, #simple document, #ratio of returns, #sales taxes, #roprtgresta, #organizing, #taxes, #coulumns

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"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #edited document, #calirty, #sent out, #amazing, #accuracy and relevance, #spend career fixing

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The Boss: I edited your document for clarity and sent it out. Dilbert: wow. Its amazing how clear it is when you take out all of the accuracy and relevance. I stopped listening after wow I'll get busy spending the rest of my career fixing this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change happens, #kickboxing, #reverse sheep effect, #reverse sheep effecte, #wear pants

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The Garbageman says to Dilbert, "You can reverse the sheep effect by signing up for a kickboxing class." The Garbageman continues, "The change will happen quickly, so be prepared." Dilbert responds, "Umm.. Okay." Dilbert is in the middle of a kickboxing class. He transforms back into a human, loses all of his wool, and finds himself naked. Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly I realize he meant 'wear pants.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temporary boss, #revamp, #project staus, #color codes, #confess, #only one idea, #emabrrassing

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Wally addresses a meeting, "My first act as temporary boss is revamping our project status color codes." Wally points to a slide and says, "Red, yellow, and green will be replaced by white, off-white, and eggshell." Wally continues, "I have to confess, it was embarrassing to realize I only have one idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sentence finisher, #money from orphans, #sack and albi, #uncanny accuracy

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Headline: The Sentence Finisher. Dilbert says to a coworker, "I think I should take..." The coworker interrupts, "Money from orphans?" Dilbert says, "No, I mean I need..." The coworker interrupts, "A large sack and an alibi?" Dilbert gets frustrated and says, "You're finishing my sentences with..." The coworker interrupts, "Uncanny accuracy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unemployed, #drive electric car, #abs, #not romantic, #turn on, #socialize, #mingle, #party, #drinks

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Dilbert approaches a woman at a party and says, "I'm unemployed and I drive an electric car." Dilbert continues, "These are my abs. I talk too much about myself and I'm not romantic." Dilbert continues, "I realize it's a long shot but does any of that turn you on?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airline, #no planes, #sit in crowded room, #steal luggage, #customers realize, #mechanical difficulties

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Dilbert is assembling something. Dogbert says to him, "I'm going to start an airline that has no planes." Dogbert continues, "I'll take people's money and make them sit in a crowded room while ex-cons steal from their luggage." Dilbert turns and replies, "What happens when your customers realize you have no airplanes?" Dogbert responds, "I call that 'mechanical difficulties.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."