Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 5
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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes
View 41 - 50 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 15,
2011
Tags cruelty, deception, trust and stupidity, demonstrates question, difference
Transcript
Asok: Wally, is there any difference between trust and stupidity? Wally: Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Asok: Oh.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 07,
2011
Tags business ethics, public realtions firm, persuade media, negative stores, competitor, ethical, public relations form, defaming company, defame
Transcript
Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.
Wednesday August 03,
2011
Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, intergenerational relations, grandpa box, phones, tablets, laptop, text the 90s
Transcript
Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.
Saturday July 09,
2011
Tags lying, optimism, projections, realistic, optimistic, near death, hallucination, luci dream
Transcript
Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."
Thursday April 14,
2011
Tags ignorance (knowledge), laziness, seven layers of management, lead company, unknowingly, bad idea, input to avoid, ceo, middle management
Transcript
CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Saturday March 05,
2011
Tags exhibitions, honesty, relations between the sexes, chat me up, mammary filter, trade show, free stuff, job orders
Transcript
At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"
Saturday February 26,
2011
Tags contracts, relations between the sexes, Women, ignorantly signed, legal strategy, affadavit, attractive women, have cooties
Transcript
Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."
Friday February 18,
2011
Tags employees, engineers, revenge, loud talker, chronic faltualator, seating arrangements, cubicle arrangements, sound, noise, business
Transcript
Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation
Sunday January 23,
2011
Tags sales personnel, friendship, allegiance, relationships
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Alan. He's a frendor." The Boss says, "He's not just a friend, and not just a vendor. He's something in between." The Boss says, "He'll laugh at your jokes and invite you to golf." The Boss says, "Some people are bothered by this conditional type of 'affection.'" The Boss says, "But it's better than the nothing you have now." Dilbert says, "This is awkward because I already decided to buy from his competition." The Boss says, "Now you've done it. You turned your frendor into a stalkor." Dilbert says, "I wonder if it's wrong to enjoy the attention."
Thursday November 25,
2010
Tags director of purchasing, ethernet switch, pencils, annoyed, problem, dinosaur
Transcript
Bob, Director of Purchasing Asok says, "I requested an ethernet switch and you sent me a box of pencils." Bob says, "Sometimes I tweak the non-standard orders so I can use our approved vendors." Asok says, "You can't tell the difference between a switch and a pencil?" Bob says, "I can tell the difference between your problem and mine."


