Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes

View 41 - 50 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, deception, trust and stupidity, demonstrates question, difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, is there any difference between trust and stupidity? Wally: Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Asok: Oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, public realtions firm, persuade media, negative stores, competitor, ethical, public relations form, defaming company, defame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, intergenerational relations, grandpa box, phones, tablets, laptop, text the 90s

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, optimism, projections, realistic, optimistic, near death, hallucination, luci dream

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), laziness, seven layers of management, lead company, unknowingly, bad idea, input to avoid, ceo, middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags exhibitions, honesty, relations between the sexes, chat me up, mammary filter, trade show, free stuff, job orders

View Transcript

Transcript

At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contracts, relations between the sexes, Women, ignorantly signed, legal strategy, affadavit, attractive women, have cooties

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, engineers, revenge, loud talker, chronic faltualator, seating arrangements, cubicle arrangements, sound, noise, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, friendship, allegiance, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Alan. He's a frendor." The Boss says, "He's not just a friend, and not just a vendor. He's something in between." The Boss says, "He'll laugh at your jokes and invite you to golf." The Boss says, "Some people are bothered by this conditional type of 'affection.'" The Boss says, "But it's better than the nothing you have now." Dilbert says, "This is awkward because I already decided to buy from his competition." The Boss says, "Now you've done it. You turned your frendor into a stalkor." Dilbert says, "I wonder if it's wrong to enjoy the attention."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags director of purchasing, ethernet switch, pencils, annoyed, problem, dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob, Director of Purchasing Asok says, "I requested an ethernet switch and you sent me a box of pencils." Bob says, "Sometimes I tweak the non-standard orders so I can use our approved vendors." Asok says, "You can't tell the difference between a switch and a pencil?" Bob says, "I can tell the difference between your problem and mine."